Unbelievable but totally believable

So this past weekend I went home to take care of some things and as (a pleasant) side note we ended up in Bloomington visiting the sister and cousin and we made panades (SO GOOD).
However, that isn't the unbelievable but totally believable part...on my drive back to good ole Cleveland O H I O I was disappointed to find the book on CD I had picked up from the library was scratched! I tried listening to music but it didn't fly I got annoyed real quick (still not the you know believable unbelieve part) SO I turned it off and drove in silence praying, thinking about things I have been learning and eventually talking to some friends on the phone (Miss you all dearly) After all that silence prayer and talking something was really bugging me, my head hurt becuase I couldn't figure it out. Today after volleyball ( which was interesting we lost two/three) it all kind of hit me - the unbelievable but totally believable

(I am fully aware all of the background story has really no relevance to the subsequent revelation but I have a problem with disclosing too much information plus it tells you what I've been up to)

I have said before that I realize that I am a stubborn, critical minded person at times - but for some unbelievable reason I have failed to realize how much that has affected my view and realationship with the Lord, the church, and relationships in general. I make comments a lot saying I don't believe peoples actions and thoughts especially when it comes to christians and pastors. There are so many things especially about God that people talk about frequently like fearing the Lord, having a desire to be with him, the Lord's Character in general - and I say all the time how I don't think people understand that and the church usually preaches the opposite of what he is really about. More accuraetly that they leave part of it out - BUT (here is the climactic part, atleast for me)I think that mainly comes from the fact I don't really know it or understand it and apply that same truth to everyone and everything...you know the whole "you see the world through your own lense and such." There is more to this, what I like to call, ahh huuu moment but my brain is still trying to comprehend.

I pray the Lord softens my heart more and reveals more of these thing to me, totally believable I refused to see that.