Thursday, December 18, 2008

Cold count down

I got a cold this past weekend..booo... that annoying cough that produces nothing. The joy I have though is the countdown to going home!!! 5 days. I will be going to indy right away then Rachel is coming to visit on the weekend then I am going to Lafayette!!! I am so stoked.

Monday, December 15, 2008

My Birthday 23 and still the baby

OMG I felt so stinking loved on my birthday ...all I can say is thank you papie! I was fearing a depressing feeling for my birthday especially when I lived with awesome roomates the past three years who ALWAYS made me feel very special on my birthday and now I live alone. However through the perks of facebook I got a countdown to my birthday from the friends in west laf and a countless (almost countless) amount of birthday wishes on my wall. That, by the way, I looked at all during work. If that was not enough I got cards and phone calls! Then one of the girls at worked rounded up some people from work and we went out for drinks and dinner.

One thing I just don't understand is why people want to take so many shots for their birthday and get drunk?? You don't feel good the next day and I don't know just dont get it ...sooo besides having to fight off (and not being too successful all the time) shots it was fun to be with people.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Debbie Downer

I have felt like the infamous Debbie Downer lately. I think it has been magnified by being on third shift (11pm-8am) last week and an awesome (yes that is a sarcastic awesome) phone conversation from a family member. Everything I think about is how negative my life is but it SO isn't- it's just so hard to think beyond myself. I believe that most of it comes down to I feel like my job brings absolutely no change for good, especially God, in this world. It's hard to get motivated to go to work for big ole' Nestle

But I did make chocolate banana bread tonight- there's a plus

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thanksgiving Update

So this Holiday has been surprisingly kinda nice. I got to Indy on Wednesday night and helped do prep cooking - I ended up with the task of baking which is never my role (that belonged to my sister who got married and they had dinner with the other family) never-the-less the desserts turned out really well, I think any way: two tarts and a pie.

I was able to see a bunch of friends I haven't seen in almost a year and I saw Alan tonight which was cool to catch up. I am debating going to Lafayette to go to church and hang out with Rachel- and hopefully some other friends will be there.

Today we also went to see Australia, the movie, so NOT impressed. Don't spend money to see it. It was cool to get out of the house and see a movie on the "big screen".

Lingering thought of the day: I miss my friends a lot. Not just the distance measured in mileage but also the invisible distance forming between some. Makes me sad - and hurt my trust in people even more.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sunday Chruch -hickup-Date

So today I went to church this morning - It was about God being Number one is lots of different ways. It was pretty good one part that really stuck out to me was "He is number one in creation". Colossians 1:15 states that Jesus Christ is the firstborn over all creation. This point was further elaborated to say all things were made BY God FOR him. For one reason or another this hit me. I feel like it answers a lot of questions, I am not sure which ones but it felt like an answer- a lot of times we always ask why this or that happened to me or why did God let this or that happen at all in this World .... maybe if we stopped thinking so worldly and remember its never about us that question wouldn't come up.

After church I get in my car and it starts making this disgusting noise and shaking. I decide to ignore it and keep driving. Turned out to be a bad idea. Thank the Lord I made it to a gas station and I opened the hood and I saw a line was disconnected so i attached it- works fine now. THANK YOU JESUS

SOoooo the date today was with my Popie (God) I went to panera had dinner and read my God, marriage and family book and then read more of 2 samuel. It was a very refreshing time. I actually didn't want to leave

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Weekend Whirlwind

God is so good... This past weekend Rachel got baptized!!! two weekends ago I was there and she was not going to do it and she said she didn't believe at all - she called off being baptized. I then decided I wasn't going to go back for baptism Sunday. However the Lord had different plans and convicted me to go. After a battle of going back and forth on how to get there the good Lord provided a way. I am so stinking thankful that the God has allowed me to watch her progression of not knowing the Lord at all to being totally Sold out to him - she got a tattoo of a bible verse on her neck!!!
The weekend was also very hard a lot of emotions but I think it boils down to betrayal, jealousy, and plain being hurt. I am trying so hard to trust in Jesus and his promises. In the midst of all this a friendship has gained momentum and grown I think and I am so very thankful for her and her support, especially through all of this.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Down Day

I have got to stinkin stop looking on facebook.... I am so sad when ever I see everyone back in west laf hanging out having good times... I miss that so much

Monday, October 6, 2008

My popie (daddy) Loved on me yesterday

I always ask God to show me his love or reach out just so I know he is for real and there. Yesterday I totally felt it... I went to church and like usual just kind of sitting by myself and at the end of service this lady came up to me and said "You know I try to do what the Lord asks of me and he told me to come pray for you so I am ...can I pray for you?" I started crying ( which i have started to realize I am a major crier..I think i was in major denial before and said I wasn't but I so am)... Noone ever does that to me and I loved it! Especially it being so random and from a stranger.

Thank you popie

I love my car - yes that '93 Ford beat up Escort

There have been a many a lessons that I have been learning since being here but one of the most pressing... (not THE most pressing but still pressing) lessons has been from what I like to now call a "Life Verse" of mine:

"Therefore, I urge you, bothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. DO NOT conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

woo just typing that verse out made me think about a lot of things and I know there has to be a zillion things packed in there that I have yet to have a revelation on but most of all if that not transforming to the pattern of this world. Which brings me to the title of this blog... dum duh dda ... "I love my car- yes the '93 Ford beat up escort" every day it reminds me I am not of this world. It's like a daily reminder to be confident in the Lord and his views and not this world. I have been made fun of already for my car and at times I find myself thinking why not just go get a car... you can make the payments.... but then a remember that here in America your status and worth is judged by what car ou drive where you live what you have and I do not live by that set of standards. Thank you Jesus.

Now mind you in just rereading that verse I have a laundry list of things I just know God wants to teach me about - since currently I really have no idea what they mean. A nonexahusted list is as follows:
be transformed by the renewing of your mind...hmmm (possible going through that now but not sure)
Test and approve God's will?? What on earth does that mean?
His good perfect and pleasing will? What does Good mean?

Either way I praise God for faith ... because I have no idea about him sometimes.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A DesWeekend

So this weekend was actually enjoyable! Friday was a little weird though... My cousin Steph's friend passed my name on to her cousin who lives in Columbus and said that if he was ever in town to give me a call. So he did and he came to pick me up and he saw me and I really think he thought I was black ( because my cousin is) and he was really shocked. It was a little awkward and funny at the same time. Made me think about judging people ahead of time.

AnyWHO ...We ended up meeting up with his cousin and we went to this whole in the wall restaurant that played live jazz and it was sweet.

Saturday I hung out with fellow boilermakers. There is a Purdue Alumni Ass here so we went to a bar where they were all watching it. Then we went to see Macbeth at the new playhouse that just opened. The whole time I was trying to remember highschool and what was going on. It was still cool to watch. Then we went to this wine bar then dancing. It was nice doing something other than JUST the clubs.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


So I hate going to the gym so to get me to excersise I have been going running outside...but then I realized (for the 100th time) I hate running I find it quite boring. so THEN I made my way to the Bedford reservation (one of the perks (may it be the only one) of Bedford). Its this national woodland area...or forest but I don't think you can call it a forest. Anyway this place is ridiculously huge. I have walked numerous hours in this place and have not seen the other side of it. I even run! Its not boring when you are looking at this amazing surroundings. Man God is creative. I keep thanking big pops for the gift. It's one of my comforts while here. I am not sure what I am going to do when the snow comes...I'm gonna have to go to the GYM! Blast

I got the most amazing letter from a friend today (via snail mail which made it twenty times better) BUT it just said how I inspired her and what not and then I got a text from another friend stating how God used me to change their entire life...dude Papa is soooo cool. I can't wait for heaven and standing before the Lord and having sin burn away and the jewels be left but seeing it now is so STINKING awesome and encouraging to see man the Lord it good and so BEAUTIFUL!

What else is BEAUTIFUL? My fathers trustworthiness, the word is a double edged sword. I talked to another friend and it was well not to go into detail but I felt like my friendships back at west laf was fading. I started getting this extreamly anxious feeling and thoughts/lies that I was going to be alone. Not in the sence of a relationship but of friendships. I will be moving so often and even if I make friends here they will be for a year and if the friends I have had for a little longer fade what chance do I have... and then the words that kept coming to mind were you are not of this world- and Jesus' prayer right before he was arrested. It was actually comforting.


Friday, September 12, 2008

Good Week

SO this week was pretty good. It went really fast infact. I think I am stareting to except this whole coperate life but I still don't like it. I would rather being working at Weida still at our church helping start SV there or mentoring other women. But whatever..I found people to go to dinner with tonight its cool having people to talk with but half way through the night i found myself wanting to just go home and read a book or watch a movie. I wanted to be at PU and play games with all my friends ...... laughing and not talking about nestle and drinking. I am grateful that Tina is here and she has introduced me to people. ho hum

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

little or BIG

Little goals at a time while looking at the massive picture (yes massive rather than big) is what I have resolved to do to make it through this umm life? not really sure. But if I make little goals such as "one week at a time"... this whole five year plan dosn't seem so rough. The massive picture is God if i just think about doing things for him and ultimeatly i will be with him in the end it will be ok.

So I need a hobbie.... I really wanted to take golf lessons but I can't find anything around here that works. SO any ideas? The reservations here are kind of cool actually REALLY cool. They are beautiful lots and lots of trees and waterfalls, and deer... bambi and his family actually ahng around here a lot. I came home the other day and they were all feasting on the "lushes" lawn I have here at my front door.

Friday, September 5, 2008

The point

Life ... sometimes I really wonder what THE POINT of life is all about. I believe wholeheartedly deep down that the Lord Jesus Christ is real that my father God is faithful and full of truth. HOWERVER sometimes I wonder about him. One of my major questions lately has been if we already know that God wins the battle... or even yet that Jesus won that battle on the cross and when he finally comes back that the devil will be thrown into the pit of fire why is that we go through this masquerade called life? I believe this question radiates louder with me since I have left home (Purdue) and have so somberly entered the "real world"... I am surrounded by people who are only here on this earth to make money, drink alcohol and have sex. Why does the Lord want to watch this?

I was so content and happy in Lafayette and this may seem self-centered but I honestly believe the Lord could have used me in great ways there. Yeah yeah he can use me anywhere but Dear Lord please give me a glimpse of why I am here so it would be easier to go through this dark cloud. Being at work and making money is inevitable I suppose but it seems so meaningless. Walking around with the supervisors at work I have heard one too many times about how they work as many Saturdays as they can, how they work seven days a week, how most days they get there at 3:30 or 4 even when they don't have to...just because. FOR REAL?!!?! Lord please keep me from this earthly dwelling!!! If any one sees me getting there walk into that plant find me and pull me out by the ear.